7 best silent vibrators for all the fun without the noise

Nothing is less sexy than worrying that people will hear your toy buzzing through walls as thin as paper (iStock / The Independent)

There have been very few good things in the past 12 months – but one of the positives of the pandemic is the boom in the sex toy industry.

During the lockdown, sex toy retailers reported an astronomical increase in the number of people purchasing vibrators and various other adult toys. And really, who could be surprised? When you’re stuck at home doing nothing, enjoying a new sex toy is the best way to spend a Friday night.

But we do not live on our own, and as a result, buying a toy sometimes comes with secondary concerns. Whether it’s your parents, roommates, or even your partner, nothing is less sexy than worrying that people might hear your vibrator buzzing.

That’s why the search for silent sex toys has exploded: You can’t enjoy masturbation if you’re stressed out about being discovered.

So we’ve put together a list of the quietest vibrators on the market, all of which would be undetectable, even if you live in an old house with very thin walls or if your room is sandwiched between your roommates.

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In order to determine how quiet these toys were, we (unsurprisingly) turned them on and listened to them. Anything that was particularly noisy at the start was immediately rejected. We then tried to put the toys on the bed and under a duvet before listening to them from the next door. All of the included toys were impossible to hear through a newly constructed wall to bog standards. We also tried to leave the toys on while the shower was running and none of them could be heard beyond the bathroom walls.

A quiet sex toy that doesn’t work is of no use to anyone, so all of the toys included here were rated not only for how little noise they made, but also for their ability to give a good kick. fist. Here are our favorites.

The best silent vibrators for 2021 are:

  • Best overall – Hot Octopuss amo bullet: £ 49.95, Hotoctupuss.com

  • Ideal for powerful vibrations – We-Vibe tango X: £ 79, We-vibe.com

  • Best anal plug – Lovehoney Jewel Metal Beginner’s Butt Plug: £ 22.99, Lovehoney.co.uk

  • Best portable vibrator – Evolved Silicone Finger Vibrator: £ 28.99, Amazon.co.uk

  • Ideal for use with a partner – Lelo tiani 2: £ 113.05, Lelo.com

  • Best budget option – Loving Joy mini vibrator for G-spot: £ 5.85, Amazon.co.uk

  • Best rabbit vibrator – Je Joue fifi bunny vibrator: £ 90, Jejoue.co.uk

Hot Octopuss amo bullet

Better: Globally

The best thing about this bullet is that it’s basically quiet. Unless it’s right next to your ear, you won’t be able to hear it. The second best thing is that it is completely waterproof. If you’re really paranoid about being heard and it’s ruining your chances of reaching an orgasm, waterproof toys are your friend. You can use this vibrator in the shower or the bath and, between the quiet motor and the sound of running water, there is no way you will be heard – very useful if your bedroom door does not have it. lock but your bathroom does. As an added bonus, you can remove the gendered language while shopping on the brand’s website with one click.

Buy Now £ 49.95, Hotoctopuss.com

We-Vibe tango X

Better: For powerful vibrations

The tango X is the least silent of the silent vibrators because it is one of the most powerful balls on the market. We-Vibe has combined deep, rumbling vibrations – the kind you need if orgasms can be elusive – with the quietest levels of noise possible. It’s still quiet enough that if you used it under a duvet, no one could hear it through the walls. You can use it with confidence while sharing a home with other people and be sure you don’t get weird stares at breakfast – but if you’re looking for total silence, you might prefer a toy that is slightly less. powerful.

Buy now £ 79.00, We-vibe.com

Lovehoney Jeweled Metal Beginner’s Butt Plug

Better: Anal plug

If you want to add some sparkle to your sex life but even the quietest vibrators are too loud for you, consider a non-electronic toy. Butt plugs are a perfect way to turn ordinary sex into extremely kinky sex. They come in a variety of sizes and, as you’ve probably guessed, it’s a good idea to start small and work your way up. Having something in your anus can stimulate your prostate if you have one, or help stimulate your G-spot during penetrative sex if you have one. Either way, it intensifies sex. This one is the perfect size – neither too small nor too big. It’s metal, which gives it a bit of weight, and it’s pretty, which is a nice bonus.

Buy Now £ 22.99, Lovehoney.co.uk

Advanced Silicone Finger Vibrator

Better: Portable vibrator

This toy is incredibly quiet and is the perfect thing to bring into the bedroom if you are a couple suffering from a Covid-related drought. The idea is that you wear it on one finger and use it to touch and tease you. You can also include it during penetrative sex to help promote mutual orgasms. It’s also rechargeable, eliminating the need for that “do we need to take the batteries out of the remote?” Conversation. “.

Buy now £ 28.96, Amazon.co.uk

lelo tiani 2

Better: For use with a partner

If you are looking for a toy to use with your partner but don’t live alone, the Lelo tiani 2 is your best choice. It’s not cheap but what price can we really put on mutual orgasms? The Tiani is the toy I would suggest to couples who have had children and are now trying to focus their energy on their love life. It makes sex more intense for both partners and is designed to involve the clitoris in penetrating sex. The vibration is quiet, so there’s no worry about being overhead (as long as you can keep your own noises at an appropriate level, that is).

Buy Now £ 113.05, Lelo.com

Loving Joy mini G-spot vibrator

Better: Budget option

Often times, cheaper sex toys can be louder, like paying extra for stealth. But this G-spot vibrator is really quite quiet, while delivering an impressive punch. You have to buy your own batteries and it doesn’t have a lot of complicated vibration settings, but it’s a powerful, quiet toy for £ 7.99. You really can’t ask for more than that. The brand’s balls are also incredibly small in terms of price, but somehow very close to silent.

Buy Now £ 5.85, Amazon.co.uk

Je Joue fifi rabbit vibrator

Better: Rabbit vibrator

Rabbit vibrators are an enduring classic because they combine vaginal and clitoral stimulation in a way that many people who struggle to reach orgasm find extremely pleasurable. There are those all over the world who thought orgasms weren’t possible until they found out about the bunny. Unfortunately, they tend to be louder because the rod and “ears” vibrate, doubling the noise.

Je Joue is a tasteful brand for adults making stylish toys and the Pippi bunny is the quietest bunny style toy on the market. It’s not completely silent, but if you used it in bed under a duvet or with music, no one in another room would be able to hear it. It has a variety of gears – on the higher end it’s more audible, but on the lower settings it’s quiet.

Buy now £ 90.00, Jejoue.co.uk

The verdict: silent vibrators

Trying to masturbate in a home where you don’t have complete and complete privacy is a stressful experience, but the Hot Octopus Ball should give you the confidence to explore your body without worrying about anyone knowing what you have. do. Having a waterproof toy that you can use with the shower on and the door locked can be the perfect way to boost your self-confidence. It’s a powerful toy with a wide variety of settings and a cleverly designed shape – it’s the perfect investment for someone who wants to explore masturbation or boost their sex life.

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