Goop’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide: Vibrators, Earrings, Vaginal Candle

What’s great about a Goop gift guide is that the list itself is as much a gift as the extravagant, over-the-top offers that Gwyneth Paltrow and her team curate every year.

More important than whether you can actually afford earrings that cost more than four years of tuition, or how much you’d really use a gold-filled necklace that doubles as a vibrator, are each other’s imaginative conversations. of these Goopland creations get: who would like spend $2,000 on a rose quartz checkers game they’ll never play, and in which room East the best place to light a “Smells Like My Vagina” candle?

In fact, the Goop Gift Guide might make the perfect conversation to have at a romantic Valentine’s dinner, perhaps complete with Paltrow-approved Roe Caviar.

Luckily, there are also more realistic gift ideas on this year’s list – ones that cost no more than $100 and will always make you feel like the type of person to take a classy LSD trip. in the name of personal care.

Below, shop the best pieces from Goop’s Valentine’s Day gift guide.

The most expensive

Ruby Chrona Chandelier Earrings

Courtesy of Goop

Totaling $77,000, these enchanting earrings top Goop’s list as the guide’s most expensive gift. But you get what you pay for if you have the savings; Pavé diamonds line a yellow gold base from which dozens of emerald-cut rubies hang like a chandelier. The statement piece is the perfect accessory to pair with swept back hair and a dressy cut for a date night.


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$77,000

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Identity Diamond Link Bracelet

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Courtesy of Goop

A classic gold link bracelet never goes out of style, and even better if it’s topped with white diamonds for that extra sparkle. The diamond pavé-encrusted bar is inspired by engraved dog tags; but rather than words, the rocks speak for themselves. The elongated yellow gold links can be stacked with other pieces in your collection or worn as a standalone accessory for everyday use.


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$16,750

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Wide Strap Heart Pendant Necklace

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Courtesy of Goop

What’s particularly great about this dazzling pendant necklace is that it doubles as a charm, meaning you can detach the rubellite gem to wear the gold chain on its own or transfer it to a bracelet for a more understated piece .


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$18,400

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The most forgiving

Ladies Edie Parker Rose Quartz

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Courtesy of Goop

Game nights just got a whole lot classier. This beautiful rose quartz checkers game deserves prime real estate, whether you’re a game night fan or not. Display it next to your coffee table books in the living room, or bring it to a special occasion for guests.


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$1,895

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Roe Caviar White Sturgeon Caviar Box

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Courtesy of Goop

Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to indulge in the best food, and according to Goop that means white sturgeon caviar (no preservatives or additives, naturally). Sustainably raised in California, the eggs have a rich, exceptional flavor. Plus, the beautiful wooden box even comes packed with a mother-of-pearl spoon to ensure every part of your cooking experience is up to Goop standards.


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$185

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Higher Dose Infrared Sauna Blanket

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Courtesy of Goop

Forget face masks and jade rollers. Bringing the spa to your home at Goopland means nothing less than an in-bed sauna, made possible by this infrared blanket coated in amethyst, tourmaline and charcoal.


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$500

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The most ‘Goop’

‘This Smells Like My Vagina’ Ceramic Air Freshener

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Courtesy of Goop

If something claims to smell like a vagina but really has a scent that’s more of a cross between bergamot and cedar, then you can rest assured that you have one of Goop’s best products on hand. The best-selling candle “This Smells Like My Vagina” is still available for purchase on the site, but the latest products in the line include this ceramic air freshener, in addition to successive candles like “This Smells Like My Prenup” and “This It smells like my orgasm.


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$20

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vFit Gold

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Courtesy of Goop

It’s not a Goop gift guide without one (or 24) vibrators on the list. Choose from the dozens of curated options on the site based on your own preferences, or indulge in their more premium choices, which use red light, vibration, and gentle heat to simulate pleasure. Plus, you can pair it with the Joylux Gold app to easily adjust settings without touching the controls.


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$395

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Crave Vesper Vibrator Collar

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Courtesy of Goop

You’ll likely get plenty of accomplishments browsing through a Goop gift guide, and today’s discovery, courtesy of Crave, may be just how badly you needed a vibrator that doubles as a necklace. Crafted from stainless steel and finished in 24k gold, this elegant bullet pendant has four speeds and two modes so you can go from night to night hassle-free. It doesn’t get more Goop than that.


Crave Vesper Vibrator Collar

$69.00

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The most realistic

La Doublej dessert plate, set of 6

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Courtesy of Goop

If you’re shopping for someone with more traditional expectations, these beautiful porcelain dessert plates should do the trick. Each plate features unique designs, but together create a cohesive collection of geometric patterns in blues, greens and guava.


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$340

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Brief Sleepmask

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Courtesy of Sephora

If your partner doesn’t necessarily need an infrared sauna blanket, you can give them a restful night’s sleep with these luxury silk sleep masks. Choose between classic black or more colorful options such as red and pink.


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$50

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Vitruvi Move Diffuser

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Courtesy of Goop

The Move Diffuser wins this year’s Goop Guide’s Most Convenient Gift Award. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have all the extravagant bells and whistles that earned it a spot on the roster. The diffuser is cordless and runs on a rechargeable battery, meaning you can display it anywhere in the house without worrying about finding an outlet, while long battery life promises four hours of constant broadcast or eight hours of intermittent broadcast.


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$179

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